7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship

In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.

Myth 1 :I have to love everything about my partner

You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.

Myth 2: Love means that I can fix your partner

You met your partner because of some special quality or characteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.

Myth 3 : I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.

Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.  Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.

Myth 4 : I will be rescued by a knight in shining armor

You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armor and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armor of a better relationship.You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.

Myth 5 : It cost a lot to be in a relationship

In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.

Myth 6 : Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling

It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing. If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.

Myth 7  : I don't have to work at my relationship

As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.These sentences then become the way in which you communicated .When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.

In summary:

1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.

2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.

3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.

4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.

5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.

6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.

7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.

 

About The Author:

Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo charge your health, business and wealth

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Guy

Ladies, if you want to have a successful dating life, certain phrases should never come out of your glossy lips. Here they are:

1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? You’ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he’ll call. If not, next. You don’t have time for anyone that doesn’t have time for you.

2. WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL? There’s only one answer to this question: Because he didn’t want to!!! What you’re really asking is, “Why didn’t you want to call me?” Who knows!! There could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn’t be sitting around wondering why. You should be out dating lots of different guys and not worrying about ONE guy. Don’t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if they break, it’s a big mess!

3. WHERE WERE YOU? If he wanted you to know where he was, he’d tell you. What you’re really asking is, “Where you with another female that you like better than me?” Your insecurity is showing, my dear. If anything, he should be wondering where you were.

4. I LOVE YOU (FIRST) - You’re saying it in the hopes that he’ll say it back, but what if he doesn’t? You’ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying “I love you” is not going to speed things up if he’s not ready to say it back. So just cool it, and let him be the first to say it when he’s ready.

5. DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER? As long as he’s not sleeping with her now, who cares? The past is gone. Don’t torture yourself (and him) with these thoughts. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.

6. I’M PREGNANT. With all the birth control choices available, there is no excuse for becoming pregnant, unless you want to be. You should be using something and he should use a condom, every time.

7. WHERE IS THIS GOING? Nowhere fast if that’s your attitude. Guys want someone fun and easy to be with, not someone that’s constantly worrying about the future. His actions or non-actions will tell you where it’s going. If it’s going somewhere, you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know it too.

8. WE NEED TO TALK. This is the equivalent of, “Go to the principal’s office”. Guys know it’s not going to be a fun conversation, so they’re already on the defense. If you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of you are relaxed. Don’t try to talk to him when he’s tired, stressed or trying to watch tv!

9. I HATE YOU! Even if you do, it’s totally uncalled for and un-lady like. If there’s an issue, be mature enough to discuss it when you’re calm. If he’s breaking up with you, reacting with anger may make you feel better temporarily, but it’s best to remain calm and act unfazed. He’ll wonder why you’re so cool about it and that may make him re-think his decision. Always be pleasant during a break up. Do you want to be known as the girl that goes psycho if someone breaks up with her?? I didn’t think so.

10. I DON’T TRUST YOU. What you’re actually saying is, “You need to step up your game, because I can see you’re up to something.” If he is up to something, he’ll just become even sneakier. Better to think smart and act dumb-it’ll be easier to get the evidence you need to confirm your suspicions.
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different ways to arouse them as well. If you have been in a bit of a slump here are some quick ways to rev up your love life:

1) Dress in a suit and take her out to a romantic dinner. Women love men in suits and almost every man looks good in one. The soft candle light of a romantic restaurant combined with a good wine will put her in the mood to get closer, as well.

2) Work out together. Workouts release pheromones that heighten attraction between couples. Get sweaty together then clean up with some dirty fun in the shower.

3) Take a bath together. Fill the tub with some scented oils or bath salts and toss in some rose petals. Play romantic music and light some candles. She will feel pampered and grateful. Let her relax for a few minutes then slip in with her. There is plenty of opportunity for sexy contact while you clean each other.

4) Roleplay can keep your relationship and sex life reved up for years.

Ex. My boyfriend will dress up like a handyman and really get into the act with accent and tools. He comes over and offers to lend a helping hand around the house. He offers a truly helping hand and I tip him extremely well.

5) Practice erotic massage. Either take a class together or get a video or book and practice on each other. This is a great way to get both of you relaxed and heated up.

About The Author:

Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.

3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship

If you are in a relationship right now, or are thinking of going into one, there are 3 very important tips you should know and questions you should ask yourself before you ever get yourself into a relationship. This could save you from a lot of heartache and pain when you are involved in a love
relationship.

(1) Your lover does not owe you your happiness, peace or joy.

Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of your happiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you and they do not come from outside of you, or from others. Before you go into any type of relationship, ask yourself these questions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walk away from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to find the person that I am now even after I go into this relationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, you should not be dependent on your partner on your emotional needs. You yourself are responsible for your own feelings and creating positive experiences for both your partner and you whenever you are together.

(2) Love your partner for who they are.

No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find your partner doing certain things or saying certain things that will hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you go into any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself: "Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I am unhappy or angry with something they have said or done, will I be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as against their speech, actions and behavior, and not against their persons?"

(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love my partner?
If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give love to another? This is a mistake most people make when they go into a relationship. They become over-obsessive with what they can give to their partners and what they can do for their partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, you have to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A true partner or lover is one who will make sure that you do not become too dependent on them. You are responsible for your own feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are a beautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself, treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and do the same to your partner. Very soon you will find true love always coming your way without any effort on your part!

As always, if you are encountering problems in your relationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love. And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful and fulfilling relationship!